That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize