ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
