Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
