absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
