ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you win again, gameday.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
