genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
