Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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