You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
