The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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