I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
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I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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