So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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