I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
