so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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