I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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