There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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