OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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