come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just gift wrapped bread.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
