Kiss
Puke
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
