great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
