I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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