Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
