some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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