My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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