I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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