Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
