"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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