just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
