It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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