My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
