so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
