You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
