I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So many bounce houses so little time
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
