This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
