you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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