After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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