i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
