I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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