Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
