Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Randomize
