its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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