My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
