I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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