Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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