The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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