Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
