You really coming over, don't trick.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
