so explain again why im purple
no
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Can you repeat that, but with context?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
