Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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