google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
