So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
