It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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