I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
