You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
