I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
