Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
