Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
