went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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