Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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