It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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