She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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