she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
