You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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