as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
