he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
NoShamevember. You game?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
