It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
