I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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