dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
